Steve Jobs

“Remembering you’re going to die, is the best way I know, to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

– Steve Jobs

Chk out the Videos : Steve Jobs, Stanford University ( 2005 )

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Steve+Jobs%2C+Stanford+University%2C+2005&aq=f

Whenever people talk about inspiring graduation speeches, Steve Job’s speech instantly comes up. In this speech, Steve shares his life lessons via 3 stories in his life. His birth, when he got fired from Apple, and when he found out about his cancer. These 3 stories were extremely inspiring – most people knew Steve as the hot-tempered yet charismatic CEO who heads Apple, but who would have known that his birth parents gave him up for adoption? That he quit college because his college fees were sucking up his parents’ savings? That he was once fired from the very company he founded? And that he diagnosed in cancer in 2004, and by a stroke of fate, survived it?

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

Steve reminds us that in life, there is really nothing we have to lose, because we were born with nothing to begin with. This is what I alluded to in my article How To Overcome Fear and Pursue Your Dreams. Eventually one day, all of us will die. Everything that we’ve come to see as important, will lose significance on that day. What would you wish you could have done then? How would you rather have lived your life? Take that and start living true to that today. Don’t live your life in regret, because life is not meant to be lived in regret. It’s meant to be live in passion, with love, with fire, conviction, and purpose. Don’t ever settle for what you don’t want; keep fighting for what you believe in.

As you read this post, think about how you can apply the lessons to yourself. Don’t just read this post and nod away at each point, then forget about everything you’ve read minutes later. That’ll truly be an incredible shame for yourself. Steve was born a regular person just like any of us, not given anything more or less in terms of his life. At the end of the day, it was how he led his life that made it different from everyone else.

1. Life is what you make it out to be

If you don’t know anything about Steve Jobs other than generic public knowledge, here’s a quick run down of his background:

•He was born out of wedlock, to graduate student parents who gave him up for adoption thereafter.

•He was adopted and raised in a working class family. His foster father fixed cars for a living.

•His biological parents wanted a girl, not a boy.

•He dropped out of college, after only 1 semester. His highest qualification was high school.

•While he was attending Reed (his college), he would be “sleeping on the floor in friends’ rooms, returning Coke bottles for food money, and getting weekly free meals at the local Hare Krishna temple”.

•In 1985, he was fired, very publicly, from the very company he founded (Apple), after losing a power struggle with the board of directors. (He would then later return as CEO (in 1997) after Apple bought over NeXT, the company Steve founded after leaving Apple.)

•In 2003, he discovered he had cancerous tumor in his pancreas. He would then engage in a long battle with cancer for the next 8 years, till his recent passing.

Most people who didn’t know Steve would assume he probably had a privileged life, had a silver spoon in his mouth, and had his path to success laid out before him.

But it wasn’t the case, as you could see above. He was born out of wedlock. He wasn’t the child his parents wanted. He was given up for adoption. He was fired from the company he created. He was publicly humiliated during that time. And he was diagnosed with a rare form of pancreatic cancer, which ultimately took his life.

While he was not necessarily dealt with the best cards, it didn’t matter a single bit. Rather than complain or let himself be paralyzed by the situations, he made the best out of what he was given – then went to create the kind of life he wanted, eventually becoming the CEO of one of the most valued companies in the world, a billionaire many times over, and one of the most respected people in the world today.

When life gives you a curveball, what do you do? Do you (a) sit and whine about it (b) make the best out of it or (c) throw the curveball back at life and create your home run? Most people do (a) – these are the whiners. Some people do (b) – these people generally do good, but that’s about it. Few people do (c) – these are the true winners.

You always have a choice in how you live your life. Don’t victimize yourself because no matter how bad things may seem at the moment, there are hundreds to hundred thousands of people out there who are worse off than you. When you rise above what you are given, that’s when you soar.

2. Dream big – very big

Before Apple’s rise in the last decade, Microsoft was the undisputed giant in the world of personal computers. Before iPod, mp3 players were known only as mp3 players. Before iTunes, it seemed almost unlikely for anyone would pay for music online, when music piracy was so rampant. Before iPhone, Nokia was the long-time market leader for mobile handsets. Before iPad, there didn’t seem to be a need for tablet computers – PCs and laptops seemed to do the job just fine.

In each situation, no one would have ever thought things would change.

But the status quo was broken, each time, with exceeding results. With each product release, Steve Jobs (and his team) revolutionized the industry and created a new movement – from personal computing, to mp3 players, to music distribution, to mobile phones, to tablet computers.

iPod became integral to the lifestyle of masses, became synonymous with mp3 players, and paved the way to the collapse of CD sales. iTunes became the #1 music vendor in US in 2008, with 10 billion song downloads as of 2010 (after just 7 years of being online). iPhone created a demand for touchscreen phones, broke Nokia’s long-time market leadership and changed the game of the mobile phone industry. iPad 2 sold more than all other tablet PCs combined since the iPad’s release (in 2010) and is expected to account for 83% of the tablet computing market share in US by 2011 (source).

These happened because Steve allowed himself to dream big – to see beyond what was in the present, to think outside the box, to go where no one had ventured before.

“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” – Apple’s Think Different commercial (#9 on the list)

How do you set your goals? Do you base them on what has already been achieved out there? Or do you base them on your boldest, grandest, deepest heart’s desire? The latter is how you’re going to create a movement and shake the world. What are your biggest, wildest dreams? Set them and go for them.

3. The greatest things started somewhere

Steve Jobs started Apple in his parents’ garage, along with high-school buddy Steven Wozniak. Not exactly the most glamorous start for the world’s largest technology company today – Not that it mattered, because it would never have grown if there was never a start in the first place.

I often hear of people saying that they can’t do X because they need to wait for A, B and C to be in place. Fair enough, but are these prerequisites really necessary or are they just excuses not to take action? If we are forever waiting for things to be perfect, when will we start taking action then?

I started TPEB 3 years ago with a free basic WordPress template, a semi-casual introduction post, and no readership to boot. Today it has evolved into one of the top personal development blogs online. As of Oct ’11, we are tracking to hit almost hitting a million page views a month. We got from A to B because I didn’t wait to take action. I just launched the blog, despite having and knowing nothing, and took things from there.

Likewise for you, how can you get started on your dreams today, even if in a small capacity? It’s from starting that you get to somewhere. The greatest things were at a time, but just a dream.

4. Certifications don’t matter

“Truth be told, I never graduated from college. And this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation.” – Steve Jobs, during his address at Stanford Commencement 2005

“I’m convinced that about half of what separates the successful entrepreneurs from the non-successful ones is pure perseverance.” – Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs dropped out of Reed after just 1 semester. His highest education qualification was high school level. He would become one of the many billionaire school dropouts today who would put the age old belief that certification is essential for success in life to shame.

I’m not saying to quit studying or not to have any cerification. After all, I myself am a college graduate and a product of the formal education system.

All I’m saying is that whether you succeed or not in life is independent of your certification. There are people who succeed in life and are graduates, just as there are people who succeed and don’t have any certification. What’s more important is your skill level, your attitude, and your aptitude (which can subsequently be honed through 10,000 hours). I shared the same thoughts previously in Ask Celes – Are Coaching Courses Necessary To Be a Coach?

If you are studying at the moment, or if you have plans to study/get some form of certification in the future, be conscious of why you are pursuing it, and whether it meets your needs.

For those who are in school – Are you drifting your way through school so you can get a piece of paper at the end of your course, as a ticket to the working world? For those who have earned your certifications – Are you hiding behind them as a safety shield and using them as an excuse not to grow? And for those who don’t have certifications in what you want to pursue in – Are you letting this be an excuse not to pursue what you want to do in life?

5. Live every day like it is your last

Steve Jobs was a strong proponent of living life to the fullest – every day. This was clear from many of his quotes:

“When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”

“Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me. Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful, that’s what matters to me.”

“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.”

“No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.”

If you reflect it on yourself, as you living your life to the fullest? Or are you wasting your days away, sleepwalking? If you were to die today, will you die happy or with regrets? What can you do about those regrets now, before it’s too late? What are all the things you want to do before you die? How can you start working on them now?

6. Stop listening to what others say

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Speech 2005

Steve Jobs faced his fair share of naysayers in his lifetime. When he was fired very publicly from Apple in 1985, he was dismissed by the industry as a “flash in the pan” – i.e., had a showy beginning, but with nothing to tell at the end. Business leaders and press saw him as a has-been.

What followed though, was one of the most remarkable comebacks in business history.

After getting fired, Steve went on to create NeXT, a computer platform development company. He also purchased the computer graphics division of Lucasfilm Ltd, and later spun it off as Pixar (which was subsequently acquired by Disney in 2006).

“I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.” – Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Speech 2005

In 1996, in an ironic twist of events, Apple, after a decade of steady losses since firing Steve Jobs, acquired NeXT for the computer platform system which it was missing. Steve stepped in as interim CEO in 1997, before being appointed as official CEO in 2000.

Under his leadership, Apple was brought back from the brink of bankruptcy, and is today the largest company in the world (surpassing Microsoft in 2011) by both revenue *and* profit. He continued to serve as the CEO until 2011 this year (when he quit to tend to his health).

 

How’s that for size?

If Steve Jobs had listened to his detractors when he was fired, he would never have achieved the success he did. Rather, he listened to his heart and did what he felt he had to do. Being guided by that led him to realize his goals – many times over.

 

“People sometimes have goals in life. Steve Jobs exceeded every goal he ever set for himself.” - Steve Wozniak, Apple co-founder, on Steve Jobs

Whatever your dreams are, follow them. Don’t listen to the naysayers, the people who discourage you from living the life of your heart’s desire. Following their words will only make your life a shadow of theirs’, not the life you’re looking for. Listen to your inner voice and follow it, because you can never go wrong with it.

7. Do not underestimate the impact you can have on the world

“I want to put a ding in the universe.” – Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs was just 1 person, but look at how he revolutionized the technology industry and impacted masses with his work. It’s safe to say that iPod, iPhone, iTunes, iPad, among his other creations have positively impacted millions (if not billions) of lives around the world. This would have never happened if he didn’t pursue his dreams.

Likewise for you, there is a world out there waiting for you to impact it. Are you ready to start your revolution?

“Do you want to sell sugar water for the rest of your life, or do you want to come with me and change the world?” — Steve Jobs’ legendary pitch to John Sculley (then PepsiCo CEO) in 1983, to get him to run Apple (Sculley later pushed Jobs out of Apple in 1985)

“We’re here to put a dent in the universe. Otherwise why else even be here?” – Steve Jobs

What is the change you want to bring to this world? What do you

need to do to make it happen? How can you start your revolution, with effect from today?

8. Failure only happens when you deem it to be so

Steve Jobs was fired from the very company he created. By most people’s standards, this would be the epitome of failure. Most people would give up, hide from the world and wallow in self-pity, right at this point.

Not him though. As I detailed in #6, he went on to create 2 successful companies (NeXT and Pixar), got rehired into Apple, turned it around in one of the biggest comebacks in business history, and made it the biggest technology company today. He never gave up on himself and fought for what he believed in.

Many of you often ask me how I got the confidence to quit everything in my life and plunge right into pursuing my passion back in 2008. How about failure – what if I failed? What would I have done?

Here’s the thing about failure – The biggest lesson I learned about failure is this: There is no failure until you deem it to be so. This means even if you lose all your money, go bankrupt, lose your housing, suffer some major setback, or fall flat on your face, you have not failed. It is only one of the many, many mid-points towards your end goal. The only point you fail is when you give up – because that’s when the story ends.

That’s the reason why I was able to pursue my path so relentlessly, without hesitation – because I knew as long as I kept going, it was a matter of time before I reached my goal. Anything that was going to happen before that would merely be an occurrence along the journey – nothing more, nothing less.

 

So if you often hold back in your decision making because you’re afraid to fail, know that failing doesn’t exist until you declare you have failed. So as long as you keep going, and have no intentions to give up on your dreams, you can never fail. It’s a matter of time before you get to where you want to be.

9. Do what you love

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is [...] to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking, and don’t settle.” – Steve Jobs

 

I talk about the importance of pursuing your passion all the time, with good reason. You have the rest of your life to work, so rather than do something you don’t like THEN retire and do the things you’ve been meaning to do all your life, why not pursue your passion and make that your life’s work? Sure, you *may* have to backtrack a bit where income is concerned, but that’s just temporary. As long as you deliver top value, and keep outdoing yourself (see #11), it’s a matter of time before you achieve *both* passion AND money.

Don’t make yourself work in a job you dislike, because that will be to waste your life away. Do what you love, because that’s what life is about – doing the things you love.

10. Have faith – Never lose hope

“Sometimes life’s going to hit you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith.” – Steve Jobs, on getting fired from Apple back in 1985

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.” – Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Speech 2005

Even when things looked bleak, Steve always had faith that things would work out okay one day. It kept him going and allowed him to make the best out of his life (see #5).

No matter what rough patch you may be going through now, don’t give up. Don’t lose hope either. As long as you keep going, you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. You are not here to suffer – you are here to blossom as an individual. Everything happens for a reason, and it’s up to you to assign that reason. (see #1)

 

11. Outdo yourself – Over, and over again

As I mentioned in the beginning of the article, I don’t follow any of Apple’s news or of its product releases/updates. Hence, news on iPhone 3/4/5, MacBook Air, iPod mini/nano/shuffle/touch/etc are lost on me.

However, the fact that people care about these models, discuss about them at length and continue to buy them (over and beyond initial hype), shows they do find value in the new models. Be it thinner, lighter, faster, longer battery life, or increased functionality, these upgrades are things which consumers find valuable, and have their lives improved as a result.

“You can’t just ask customers what they want and then try to give that to them. By the time you get it built, they’ll want something new.” – Steve Jobs

“None. It’s not the consumers’ job to know what they want.” – Jobs responding to whether he did market research for the iPad

What I love about Steve Jobs is how he relentlessly pursued

betterment, both in his life and his work. He was already successful in his early years, but this didn’t stop him from wanting to become better. Beyond settling for status quo, he kept pushing for innovation – each time creating one game changing product after another. Because of that, he kept growing, and so did Apple.

 

“Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower.”

– Steve Jobs

If you look at your past 3-5 year history, have you been outdoing yourself? Or have you been stagnating? What can you do to outdo yourself? As the CEO of your life, what is the new trajectory of growth you want to embark for the next few years?

Concluding

I hope you found this tribute meaningful in some way, and got a few lessons out of it. I learned a few new things about Steve Jobs and Apple in writing this article, which made me even more respectful of their success today. Steve Jobs was indeed an inspirational man with an incredible spirit.

If you could apply just a couple out of the 11 lessons above, I’m sure it will make a world of a difference in your life.

RIP Steve Jobs (1955-2011) – A visionary, genius, and legend.

Feel free to share this article with whomever you think would find it useful. As usual, the social media share buttons can be found at the end of this article.

How To Be a Better Person: 101 Ways

 

1.Commit yourself to growth (Be Growth-oriented). The more you grow, the better you become. I committed myself to a lifetime of growth back in 2006 (when I discovered my purpose), and I’ve never looked back ever since.

2.Work on your negative traits. Are there any traits you dislike about yourself? Some traits which I didn’t like about myself in the past include being self-centered, arrogance, selfishness, critical, harshness, hardness, etc. Identify them, then work on them one at a go. It can be challenging to try to overhaul your character at one go. On the other hand, if you work on addressing 1 negative trait at a time, it’s a lot more manageable and achievable.

3.Identify your ideal persona. What’s your ideal self like? Picture him/her in your mind, then write down all the traits of your ideal persona. Then, start living true to your ideal self.

4.Find a role model. Having a role model gives us a concrete image of who we want to become. I see role models in people like Ellen Degeneres (for her genuineness and compassion towards others), Tyra Banks (for not being afraid to stand up for what she believes in, and inspiring women to do the same), Ivanka Trump (for her beauty, intellect and grace – representing the modern day woman), Oprah (for being a power mover in the world of self-help), among others. Who is/are your role model(s), and what do you like about them?

5.Be a role model. The best way to be a better person is to be a role model to others. How can you be an inspirational guide to others? Live by example. In being a role model, remember it’s not about making yourself into someone you’re not (see #57 on Be Individualistic). It’s about living true to your ideal self (see #3).

6.Be a better child to your parents. You only have 2 parents in your life, so appreciate the time you have with them. If your relationship with your parents is non-ideal, it doesn’t mean that everything ends here. I used to have a very poor relationship with my parents, until I achieved resolution recently. Read: How I Found Peace in My Relationship with My Parents

 

7.Be a better friend to your friends. I used to be disappointed at how some of my friends aren’t always there for me when I need them, then I realized that I should think about how I can be a better friend to my friends first before making such expectations of others. Likewise for you, think: How can you be a better friend to your friends? Read: How To Have More Best Friends in Life

8.Be a better sibling, if you have siblings. I’ve several friends who are the only-child, and they frequently talk about how they wish they had a brother or sister. If you’re lucky enough to have brother(s) and sister(s), treasure them. Spend more time with them; Show them care and concern; Look out for them if you need to.

9.Be a better partner, if you’re attached. If you’ve a girlfriend/wife or boyfriend/husband, think about how you can be a better partner to him/her. When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to make demands and expectations about what your partner should do/be, but it’s difficult to take ownership for the things we aren’t doing/being ourselves. Commit yourself to being a better partner, and release your expectations of your partner. Both of you will be happier that way.

10.Be a better parent, if you have children. Many parents have told me that having a child one of the most amazing things that has ever happened to them. If you have a child(ren), think about how you can be a better parent, without impeding on the child’s growth. Raising a child can be challenging especially as he/she enters adolescence years, but that’s also part of the joy of being a parent.

11.Be a better employee in your company (if you work for someone). Often times, I hear people complain about how their companies are not giving them enough benefits/wages/support/etc. While this may be true, think about how you can be a better employee instead. Check if there’s anything more you can do for your manager. See if there are any new projects you can take on. See how you can improve your current performance.

12.Be a better manager/leader (if you’re managing others). Many people leave their jobs because they’re unhappy with their managers. How well you manage your employees can dramatically affect their motivation levels and their performance. Put their needs before yours and bring the best out of them.

13.Be a better member of your community. What communities are you a part of? Say, interest groups? Recreational clubs? How can you be a more active part of the communities?

14.Be a better human to others. How can you treat the fellow humans around you better? Start treating them this way.

15.Be a better being in this world. How can you make the world a better place? Start doing that today.

16.Be Able. Equip yourself with skills. Your skills are like the tools in your toolbox. The more skills you have, the more able you become.

◦Learn something new. There are always new things to learn, no matter how much you already know. The more you learn, the better you become. Read: Skills Development

◦Hone your current skills. With your current skills, strengthen them. You can never be too good at a skill – there’s always room to improve. Even the best people in their fields, such as Tiger Woods (Golf), Michael Jordan (Basketball), Beethoven (Pianist) never stopped honing their craft. Read: Leveling Up

17.Be Accepting of differences – be it different people, different thinking, different lifestyles, different cultures. For they add variety and color into our lives. If everyone is the same, life will be bland – monotonous, even.

18.Be Adaptable / Flexible / Versatile. Have your goals and plans, but be able to change them accordingly when the situation calls for it. Rigidity is a sign of weakness, while adaptability makes you so much more powerful.

19.Be Adventurous.

◦Step out of your comfort zone. Are you sticking to the same routines and hiding behind a safety net? Step out and do something you’ve never done before. It’ll broaden your mind and make you a better person.

◦Travel. Traveling broadens perspectives and widens horizons. I’m currently touring Europe and I’m gaining so many insights about different cultures that it’s amazing. The trip has definitely enriched my perspective on the world.

20.Be Altruistic.

◦Always have the best intentions for others. Go for the highest good in everything you do, every decision you make, every path you take, every thought you have.

◦Volunteer (for a cause you believe in). Not everything has to be measured in money. At TPEB, I spend hours every day writing the best content and giving it away for free, without asking anything back in return from the readers. With volunteer work, you may be giving your labor for free, but this is time spent in good stead. Don’t underestimate the kind of difference you can make in others’ lives with just a few hours of work.

◦Save the environment. Our world is being wasted away, day after day, with the harm the society at large is inflicting on it. What can you do to protect our home?

21.Be Assertive. Stand up for your rights and things you believe in.

22.Be Attentive. When someone is talking, give him/her your full attention. Don’t busy yourself with something else; that’s just rude and inconsiderate.

23.Be Bold. Life is an adventure – don’t live it in fear. Boldly pursue your dreams. Boldly act on your instincts. Boldly create the life you’ve always wanted. Read: How To Overcome Fear and Pursue Your Dreams

24.Be Candid. Be frank, be outspoken, be earnest. Say what’s on your mind – Don’t feel the need to censor your words because you’re afraid of what others think. Be true to yourself. (But not at the expense of others’ feelings, of course – See #39 on Be Empathetic.)

25.Be Caring.

◦Show concern. There’s no need to wait for a cry for help before showing your care and concern. You can do it right away, right now, to those around you. Even if there’s nothing wrong, it’ll warm the hearts of others to know that you cared.

◦Call your friends. Are there any friends you’ve not contacted for a while? Call them today and check on how they’re doing. They may not show it, but they’ll be happy that you called – because it showed you cared.

26.Be Coachable. There’s always something we can learn from everyone, no matter his/her age, background or area of expertise. Don’t close off on opportunities to learn just because you think you know enough. Open your mind and let every encounter be a learning lesson. The moment you close yourself off is the point where you stop learning.

◦Find a mentor. A mentor guides you to become greater than you can be by yourself. You should only get a mentor if (a) the person has something to teach you (b) your personalities gel with each other. Back when I was working in P&G, I had informal mentors who often stepped in to make sure I was doing well. At the same time, they themselves had mentors who guided them. No matter how senior or experienced you may be, there’s always someone who has something to teach you.

27.Be Committed… to your goals and dreams. If you’ve set a goal, go all out and achieve it. If you’ve laid down a plan, stick to it all through the way. Don’t waver, for that’s not in you to do so.

28.Be Compassionate / Kind. Always look out for opportunities where you can help others. Don’t get caught up in your own space – instead, look outwards and see if there’s anything you can do for others. Even the simplest things, like helping someone carry his/her belongings, is very much appreciated by others.

29.Be Confident… in who you are and what you do. There’s no reason not to be. Read: How To Be The Most Confident Person in the World

30.Be Conscientious / Meticulous. Are you attentive to everything you do? Such a quality is rare, but so precious. Conscientious people put their heart and soul to what they do; consequently they do a complete and thorough job in whatever they do. You’ll naturally be a valuable asset to whichever organization or team you’re a part of.

31.Be Considerate / Thoughtful. Make a habit to consider others in your decisions and actions, for they affect other people. Make sure no one is negatively affected before you proceed with your plans.

◦Practice the Golden Rule. It’s the ethic of reciprocity, which states “One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself”. How do you want others to treat you? Shower others with this behavior, and you’ll attract more of the same.

◦Practice the Silver Rule. Related to the Golden Rule, it states “Do not do unto others what you would not have them do unto you”. It’s to make up for the shortcomings of the Golden Rule. How do you not want others to treat you? Make sure you don’t do this to others.

32.Be Cooperative. Don’t be insular and seclusive. Be willing to work with others if they need your help. We do not exist in this world alone; Life is possible because we have each other.

33.Be Courteous. Practice good etiquette. Always remember your “hi”s, “bye”s, “thank you”s and “welcome”s.

34.Be Courageous / Overcome Fear. Is there anything you’re scared of? Don’t be. Fear is mental – It’s only what you perceive it to be. If you challenge that which you’re afraid of, you’ll realize there’s nothing to be scared of at all, because there is nothing to lose – We entered this world with nothing but our consciousness, we’ll leave the world with the same consciousness. Read: How to Overcome Fear and Pursue Your Dreams

How To Overcome Fear (Series)

35.Be Curious.

◦Have an insatiable thirst for knowledge. So you’ll always be learning new things.

◦Ask questions – often. The more questions you ask, the more information you can uncover.

◦Get feedback from others. Feedback is one of the fastest ways to identify areas of improvement, since others can see our blind spots. Day 13 of 30DLBL is about asking for feedback from others around us so we can improve.

36.Be Dependable. Be there for others when they need you. Always check if there’s anything you can do for your friends. If they call you, make time out for them. If they email you, take the time to respond. You never know when it’s someone in pain and reaching out for help. Read: How To Have More Best Friends in Life

37.Be Discerning. Don’t blindly accept everything you hear or read; Always evaluate what you’re given with a discerning mind. This doesn’t mean you become skeptical; but rather you exercise your judgment appropriately.

38.Be Emotionally Generous. Emotional stinginess means to be stingy with your emotions, while emotional generosity is to be generous. So, an emotionally stingy person is typically negative, unhappy, critical, judging, imposing; while an emotionally generous person is positive, happy, encouraging, supportive, etc. Be as giving with your emotions as possible. Encourage others. Be positive. Share happiness. Read: Are You Emotionally Generous?

◦Compliment others (with genuine intent). Part of emotional generosity is to be generous with compliments (that’s genuine and not fake). Get into the habit of giving compliments. When you meet someone and if you recognize something nice about him/her, let him/her know. You’ll make his/her day.

39.Be Empathetic. Empathy is the key to successful relationships. Learn to see things from others’ perspective. It’ll let you understand people better, resolve conflicts, and develop meaningful connections.

40.Be Encouraging. No one likes a wet blanket. Be encouraging when your friends share their problems with you. Be supportive when they tell you about their goals.

41.Be Enthusiastic. Life is too beautiful to live dread and boredom. Embrace every day with joy and love. Start every day on a fresh new start! Approach every situation with excitement! And bring this energy to everything you do and everyone you meet.

42.Aim for Excellence.

◦Take on more than you can handle. If you’re managing your responsibilities fine at the moment, challenge yourself by taking on more. If you’re always doing the same things, you’ll never develop anything. You’ll no sooner atrophy in your growth. Take on more work. Push your boundaries. Stretch yourself. This way you increase your capacity.

◦Expect nothing less than the best. Hold yourself to the highest standard in whatever you do. Always aim for the highest goals, the best results, the grandest vision.

◦Live your life to the fullest. Because why should you settle for a life that’s anything less? Read: 101 Ways To Live Your Life To The Fullest

 

43.Be Fair.

◦Don’t bad mouth other people. Don’t speak ill of people behind their back, because it’s unfair to them and doesn’t give them a chance to defend themselves. Let the person know if you don’t like something he/she did, or otherwise make peace with it within yourself.

◦Don’t discriminate. Give equal treatment to everyone, regardless of race, language, religion, nationality, gender, age, social status, financial status.

◦Don’t judge. Don’t make conclusions about others’ character of their life based on 1-2 things you see about them. Always give others the benefit of the doubt.

◦Uphold justice. If you see unfairness being exacted, step in to right the wrong. This includes intervening when someone is being bullied, or standing up for someone when he/she is being unfairly judged.

44.Have Faith. Don’t put too much pressure on an event or a person to give you the results you seek. Do your best within your capacity, and have faith that everything will fall into place.

45.Be Filial. Our parents have dedicated half of their lives to having us and raising us. Now that we’re grown up, it’s our turn to repay them for the life they have given us. If your relationship with your parents is not the ideal state you envision, be sure to read How To Improve Your Relationship With Your Parents (Series)

46.Be a Follower. Aristotle said it best with this quote: ”He who cannot be a good follower cannot be a good leader.” Are you a good follower? Are you able to take directions from others? Are you willing to take directions from others? Before you think about becoming a leader (see #60), you’ve to learn to be a good follower first.

47.Be Forgiving.

◦Let go of your anger. Is there anything or anyone you’re angry with? Perhaps it’s time to give it/him/her and let things go.

◦Bury the hatchet with someone. Beyond embracing forgiveness inside you, reach out to the person you had grievances with in the past. This is not going to be easy, but it’ll bring you a huge step forward in your growth. When I was younger, I had some conflicts with schoolmates here and there, due to misunderstandings. After I started TPEB, I decided I had to live by example if I was to pursue my purpose to help others how to achieve their highest potential. So, I reconnected with old schoolmates whom I had conflicts with. It was much easier than I thought – most of them reciprocated in kind, and after that we stayed connected as friends. Read: 30BBM Day 24 – Right a Past Wrong

48.Be Friendly / Approachable. We are all humans, here to connect with one another. If you see someone you don’t know, take the first step to know him/her. With people you know, keep yourself accessible so they can approach you whenever they need help. Read: 10 Tips To Make New Friends

49.Be Generous. Find joy in giving. Remember life is not a zero sum game. By giving, you get to gain even more. By giving, you open the channel to receive new things in life. When people experience the beauty of giving, they’d want to give back too, so what goes around, comes around.

◦Share the good things in your life. What are you happy for? What do you have that others don’t have? What are you proud of? Don’t keep them to yourself – Share them with others. Happiness isn’t a zero sum equation.

◦Donate. Get in the habit of donating things you don’t need anymore. For example, old clothes, textbooks, books, toys, and the like. All my unwanted clothes are always donated to others. Sometimes I take the nice, unworn pieces and give them to my friends who can better appreciate them.

50.Be Gentle. Our society has brought out a very “hard” side in all of us – one where we’re abrasive, one where we’re hard, one where we’re demanding. Bring out the gentle side in you for a change. It’ll make you a warmer person to be around.

 

51.Be Grateful. For the good things you have, because not everyone gets to have them. For the bad things you have as well, because they strengthen your character and make you appreciate everything so much more. Day 15 of 30DLBL is all about gratitude.

◦Write a thank you note to a friend. I think a lot of times, we take our friends for granted. We forget about what they’ve done for us and are doing for us, as well as the value of our connection. Write a thank you letter/note/email to a friend and let him/her know how much you appreciate him/her. He/she will be very happy to receive your letter.

52.Be Hardworking / Diligent. Without hard work, we can’t wish to get far in life. I’ve seen people who like to take the easy way out, and this is not what I promote at TPEB. There are no “quick tips” or “hacks” that will give you instantaneous results – at the end, it boils down to sheer, hard work.

53.Be Helpful. Offer your help even if people don’t ask for it. There’s always something you can do for others.

54.Be Honest. To lie is to shrink into a lesser self; To tell the truth would be take a step up in your growth. (Unless there’s a higher value at stake, such as protecting someone’s well-being.) One of my values is truth – To discover the truth via personal experience and constantly challenging what’s around me, and to be truthful in everything I do and say. I don’t achieve this 100% of the time, but I do my best to uphold it every moment of the day. Read: How To Deal With Dishonest People

55.Be Humble. People who are arrogant tend to suffer from an inferiority complex, which is why they feel the need to parade their accomplishments. Learn to be humble. There’s no need to talk about what you’ve achieved – if they’re really good, the results will speak for themselves.

56.Be Independent. Learn to manage your life. Learn to tackle your problems by yourself, without imposing on others. Feel free to approach others if you need help, but you should never expect them to solve your problems for you.

57.Be Individualistic. Always be you – don’t try to be anyone else. Read: Finding Your Inner Self

58.Have Integrity. Set your moral and ethical principles and stick to them. Never compromise on them no matter what.

59.Be Intuitive. Follow your gut instinct. Let your intuition guide you. You’ll never go wrong with it. The more you follow your gut, the stronger your connection with your intuition will be.

60.Be a Leader. A leader is someone who is able to bring the best out of others, who is able to inspire others to be bigger than who they are, who is able to energize people into action, who is able to lead a way with a common vision. Contrary to what many think, leadership doesn’t begin when you lead a group of people; it begins in our everyday life, with how we conduct ourselves and how we live our lives. Are you a leader of your life? Read: You Are the CEO of Your Life

61.Be a Listener. The ability to listen is quite underrated in our society today. Many people are good at talking, but not listening. For today, make a point to listen to what others around you are saying. Ask questions. Clarify their answers. You may discover new things you didn’t know before. If you own a copy of The Personal Excellence Book (Volume 2), be sure to check out 13 Tips To Be a Better Listener article on how you can be a better listener.

 

62.Embrace Love. Be a beacon of love. Start by loving everyone around you. Show love to your friends, family, partner, colleagues, bosses, clients, teachers, etc – whether explicitly or implicitly.

◦Love unconditionally. The highest form of love is unconditional love, where you love others without expecting anything in return.

63.Be Loyal / Faithful. To the people that you care for, to the values that you stand for, to the things that you believe in. In the article Discover Your Values in The Personal Excellence Book (Volume 1), I share in detail about values: the importance of values, my values and how you can create your own.

64.Be Kind.

◦Don’t criticize. It’s easy to pinpoint faults in others, but really, it’s not in our place to do so. Not only that, it doesn’t make others feel good about themselves.

65.Be Magnanimous. For every thing that people do you wrong, be ready to forgive and forget.

◦Accept criticism. If someone offers criticism, accept it. Accepting isn’t the same as agreeing. You don’t have to agree with the criticism, but at least give yourself the opportunity to consider it. Every criticism is an opportunity to improve, to become better. Read: 8 Helpful Ways To Deal With Critical People

◦Ignore malicious attacks. If someone flames you, take the higher route – ignore the person. You can defend yourself on areas where your values are infringed, but overall, keep a hands-off approach. It’s not worth it to engage in such discussions, because the flamer will only keep attacking, with no desire to achieve a resolution.

66.Be Meditative. Those who meditate will know that meditation cultivates an inner peace within you. It makes you calmer and connects you with your inner self. Read: 10 Reasons You Should Meditate

How To Meditate in 5 Simple Steps

67.Be Merciful. Instead of punishment, think forgiveness. Forceful actions – Pain, suffering, death, etc don’t bring closure to issues.

68.Be Moral. Do what’s right over what’s wrong. The question of “what’s right” can be subjective depending on your upbringing, but universal values include equality of humans, gender equality, freedom of speech, freedom of choice, etc.

◦Go the non-cruel path. I commit myself to a vegan lifestyle because I didn’t want to harm animals. While you don’t have to turn vegetarian/vegan for this purpose, think about how you can follow a lifestyle that inflicts less pain to other living beings.

69.Be Mindful / Present. Don’t live in the past or future, but focus on the present moment. For this is where you’re living at now. Meditating helps you to be present (see #66).

70.Be Nurturing. There’s always ability in everyone. How can you nurture it out of each person?

◦Recognize the strengths in others. Our society today has eased into a state where we keep looking at what we lack or don’t have, as opposed to what we already have. The former is a scarcity mindset, while the latter is one of abundance. Rather than think about what’s missing in someone (be in character trait, knowledge, ability, etc), focus on his/her strengths. What does she/he have? What is he/she good at? What do you like about him/her? Focus on these vs. what you don’t like.

71.Be Open-Minded. Be ready to accept different beliefs, attitudes, personalities, cultures, practices, rituals, lifestyles, habits, races, nationalities, diets, etc, for everyone is different. No one thing is right; it’s just a matter of what works best for the individual.

72.Be Optimistic / Positive. For life is too short to be negative.

◦Don’t complain. Complaining generates all this negative energy that makes you no different than an energy vampire. While it’s okay to vent every once in a while, be conscious of the times when you do that. Cut down on the time you spend complaining and think about what you can do about the situation instead.

◦Smile. How often do you smile a day? Smiling is something we don’t do enough. Whether you’re out on the streets or at work, it’s more common to see people with stoic expressions and hard frowns than smiles. The next time you see someone, even a stranger, smile at him/her. You’ll be surprised how many people will return the smile. Even if they don’t, trust that they have been warmed by your smile.

◦Laugh. As they say, laughter is the best medicine. Learn to laugh at the jokes people make, at the obstacles you’re facing, at the mistakes you’re making, and at the mystery that is life.

73.Be Organized. The state of your life now reflects how organized you are. If everything is constantly in a mess, it suggests you’re probably disorganized in how you manage yourself. In being organized, you create structure, stability and predictability – which frees up your resources to pursue new goals. Creating a life handbook will help to organize your life.

74.Be Patient. Do you get edgy when something/someone is late? Time is fluid; it’s a construct created to help us organize our schedules. Learn to be present and live in the moment instead. Impatience breeds anxiety; Patience brings calmness.

75.Be Peaceful. Where you have a choice, go for peace over violence. The latter solves nothing, but creates more pain. The former is the start to a healing journey.

76.Be Persistent. No matter what you do, never give up. You will achieve whatever you set out to do, as long as you have the will to do it. My story of how I pursued my passion and turned it into a successful business is an example of that. The only time when giving up is the way to go when your priorities change and you realize the goal you were pursuing isn’t what you want anymore. Read: Quitting to Win

77.Be Prudent. Be bold and daring, but at the same time exercise caution. A touch of practicality never hurt anyone; it helps you to be more ready for what’s ahead.

78.Be Purposeful. Pursue a cause that’s higher and larger than you. When you do that, you’ll naturally grow into someone who’s bigger than who you are today. Pursuing my purpose to help others grow has made me embark on journeys and make decisions which I wouldn’t have pursued if I was just living my life for myself. Read: Discover Your Life Purpose in 30 Minutes

79.Be Reasonable. Know your rights, but don’t overstep your boundaries. Act within good reason – You’ll be the best judge to that.

80.Be Repentant. Has there been anything you did that you’re not too proud of? Repent and process it; don’t leave it inside your system, because it’s like rotting flesh – it’ll create an invisible stench and affect you subconsciously in your daily actions. Read: 30BBM Day 24 – Right a Past Wrong

81.Be Resilient / Be Strong. Are you facing any obstacles that are making you waver in your goals? You have the strength inside you to do whatever you want – you just have to draw from it. Read: How To Start When You Have Nothing

82.Be Respectful. Treat everyone with utmost respect, because every living being deserves that.

83.Take Responsibility.

◦Live up to your responsibilities. What responsibilities do you have? Are you living up to all your responsibilities? Shrinking away from your tasks is an act of avoidance. Stepping up to them makes you a better person.

◦Don’t self-victimize. It’s easy to say “Why me?” when bad things happen. But it does nothing to build your character – in fact it makes you weaker over time, because you’re not taking ownership for your problems. Believe it or not, everyone faces these problems too – it’s not exclusive to you. Rather than wallow in self-pity, accept your problems as part and parcel of life and address them. The more responsible you are, the more control you have over your life. Read: You Always Have A Choice

84.Be Self-Loving.

◦Be Kind to yourself. Do you often beat yourself up? Stop doing that. You, above all else, deserve kindness and respect from yourself.

◦Love yourself. For when you love yourself, you will automatically start loving others too.

85.Be Self-Reflective. I make a habit to reflect on everything that happens to me, because that’s when I can draw learnings on what I can do better in the future. Self-reflection can take place via a private journal, an online diary, or conversations with others. Asking yourself the right questions is paramount in the self-reflection process. Read: 101 Important Questions To Ask Yourself

 

86.Be Sensitive… to others’ needs and feelings. Always check to make sure you’re not neglecting anyone.

◦Don’t Impose. Imposing means to force your opinion on others. It’s okay to offer your opinion, but if others are not taking it, then there’s no need to repeat it over and over again. Keep it to yourself.

◦Don’t give unwanted advice. One biggest problems people face in relationships is when the other party tries to dispense advice that’s not needed. Many times, people converse as a way of sharing. Check if the other party is looking for advice first before you try to offer your 2 cents. It may help prevent unnecessary conflicts.

87.Dedicate yourself to Service. It’s said that service to others is the highest thing one can ever do in life. Think about how you can contribute to others and to this world. And dedicate yourself to it.

88.Be Sharp. Develop your observation skills. Sharp people are always the first to catch on to something; because of that they’re ahead of everyone else in their thinking too.

89.Be Sincere / Genuine. Speak from the heart, always. Don’t say something unless you mean it. One of my core values is authenticity – I only say things that I mean, and never say things if I don’t believe in them.

90.Be Spontaneous. Be uninhibited! Allow yourself to act freely, without restrictions. Not everything has to adhere to a plan all the time. Allow yourself to just go with the flow.

 

91.Be Sympathetic. If others are sharing their problems with you, be sympathetic. Don’t jab in with insensitive remarks. Don’t dismiss their feelings and thoughts. Get yourself into the same state as them and express your sympathy, so they know they’re not alone in the situation.

92.Be Tactful. There’s no need to be rude or abrasive. Be polite to your fellow humans – everyone has feelings, even if sometimes it may not seem that way.

93.Be a Teacher. You don’t have to be a formal teacher in name – The very act of sharing knowledge to someone is already teaching in itself. By teaching others, we become better. What are things you’re good in? Share the knowledge with other people. Start by doing it informally, and soon formally teaching others will be second-nature to you.

94.Be Trusting. Always give others the benefit of the doubt. No matter what you think, the baseline intention of people is always good. No one deliberately does something to harm others. When they do, it usually comes from a place of lack, but not out of sheer malicious intent.

95.Be Trustworthy. Always honor your commitments and uphold your promises. If you make an agreement with someone, be sure to stick through to it.

96.Be Unattached. For all things are transient in life. This doesn’t mean you become jaded and an emotionless being. What this means is you relish in every moment of your life, every situation you’re in, every person you’re with, as it is, without clinging on to it when it has passed. For we live in the present, not the past or future.

97.Be Understanding. Learn to comprehend things from others’ perspective. A common understanding is needed for relationships to be build on.

98.Be Vigilant. While the world is a safe place by and large, keep a watch out for possible dangers, especially when you’re in a foreign place. Keep a look out for suspicious people. Stay clear of potentially dangerous spots. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

99.Be Visionary. Set the highest goals and the biggest dreams you can imagine. Then set off and bring your vision to life. Be sure to create your vision board too at the same time. In Day 5 of 30DLBL, you get to create your vision board. I’ve also created a video on Creating Your Vision Board.

The vision board of one of our past 30DLBL participants, Theresa

100.Be Vulnerable. Through TPEB, I’ve learned that sharing our vulnerabilities is what gives us the greatest strength as humans. In the past few years, I’ve opened up about some of my deepest vulnerabilities, including my relationship with my parents, my past heartbreak, my disappointments, among others.

101.Be Wise. Being wise means “having the power of discerning and judging properly as to what is true or right; possessing discernment, judgment, or discretion”. Practice good judgment by exposing yourself to different contexts; considering different perspectives; gathering as much information as you can; weighing out different possibilities. The more experience you gain, the more you learn, and the wiser you’ll become.